We! Patch Up?

Dear diary, 

Its been almost an year since i last shared something so real with you. Since i wrote something in you. Yes! I still pen everything down in you but in a different way though. I don’t find the purpose in sharing real me with you sometimes. I still feel lost. I am so immature, ain’t I? I lost all of old you back there. How could i forget something so precious before leaving some place i knew i won’t return ever? Until now it must have been thrown in some trash bin or sold out to scraper. But who cares? There is no one in particular who would care to read those scars of me on your pages. Or is there someone i am missing on? may be some stranger is there or i am just thinking too much. Even though i lost a part of me in you, nothing is being missed on, everything is fit in that little shelf of me. I am just rambling again, ain’t I? Over an year! But writing back feels so perfect too. But even sometimes i feel like life is being something i can’t pen it down anymore. Hold on! There is something going on beside me. Oww mom’s talking about something and look where i am lost as always. What kind of a daughter i am? Yet she adores me completely, mostly. Because its she! A perfect mother to the most imperfect daughter. Lucky me. No matter how much i try this days most of the time i doze off to my own crazy world. I have settled in here entirely, you can join in too. Hold on! Hold on! Hold on for a while diary. Lemme listen to mamma first. Ouch that hurts! No not the nib of pen i pointed in my skin but her words, the person she is talking about. You are not getting this right? I catched up with her topic! I don’t know how but its about him. Yes the him, i hope you know him too. Even when you and me, we had a break up, indirectly, the ‘him’ who lays in the pages of you is always directed to the him of my life. My him. Or may be nope. But do you know diary why it hurts? You may be knowing right! Because its not just about him but its about his marriage too. Who i am to fear losing something that’s not mine in the first place? Hadn’t my heart had enough of scars that its still dreaming more to have more of those broken scars? You must be shocked right? Over an year diary and alot of changes. How would we catch up so fast? Slightest thing can pierce my heart into slices now a days. That old girl in you got lost with old you. By the way mamma thinks he must be married by now. She thinks i don’t know him. I am unaware of the person she is talking about, But it hurts to know everything about him and hide him from her, pretending fakeness is really not my thing, you know right? It hurts to just think about something like that now. But still life is all about miracles. Even the breath i am taking in, at this moment is no less then a miracle, Right? Yeah. I heard you diary, again your little whispers. Telling me to hold on, not to give up on the people i love and the people who love me. You were my best friend back then and still again we patch up! Don’t we? We do! Yet again, this time not just patch up but we need to catch up too. Will be back soon diary, to catch you up with my life more. But gotta go right now, mamma’s been calling for a walk. Bye. Luv ya tooo. Don’t betray me this time by getting lost somewhere. Wait for me. Stay safe.


Old Partner.


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